Urgent Letter To the Police

Dear Oga Police, Kindly add the following bad Nigerians to the long list of people you have to arrest: 1. Those with body odour found in public places: these fellows have a strategic way of depleting the lifespan of those they stand or sit close to. Some of them have such active criminal minds that…

Dear Guys: Letter of Apology

Once upon a time on Linda Ikeji’ Blog, there lived this piece I wrote: The world would be a peaceful place if people learnt to say “I’m sorry”. Knowing that you have been so badly offended, I, on behalf of those offenders, come to offer my apologies. I sincerely apologise for those silly girls. I…

Why A Guy Should REALLY Spend On A Girl

Why a guy should reaallly spend on a girl is simple: In primary school, Social Studies taught us that a mother takes care of the house and a father provides for the family. Now we are older, we see it is not just primary school but what the society firmly believes, teaches and practises. All…

Letter To My Unborn Child

Dear Unborn Child, If you are reading this, it means you now buy your own “Christmas clothes”. You are at a point in your life where “end of the year” means more to you as the silent sober reflections at star time than the sun-sprinkled shenanigans. My dear, man’s greatest tragedy is growing old. While…

Letter For The Teary Eyed

This is an old piece I did in 2015 that got on Linda Ikeji’s Blog. It is my wish for you. If 2015 didn’t work out as planned, I pray this 2016 will be better. Dear Hurting Heart, I write to your heart – bruised, scarred or broken – knowing that it is its heavy…

On New Year Resolutions

I like the theory of “a new year”. It could be a delusion – or an illusion – that there is actually something called “a new year”. I mean, there is no dramatic pause in time even if it is for a few seconds, or the sudden appearance of 13th hour on everyone’s clock, or…

Some Things Are Neither Black Nor White

You’ll have to realize that the only universal rule of life is that all must die. No matter what the best orator, author or teacher tells you, humans and life in general are too complex to be limited to fixed rules. Consider this event: During a written interview for a position in an Engineering firm,…