Life has cut you so deeply it’s only keeping you alive so you could feel it hurt deeper than it cuts. You knew there will be battle-scars and you came prepared but your First Aid kit does nothing for this ER situation.
You had your big dreams but you acknowledged that life happens. You knew from the start that failure was more likely than success so you planned thoroughly, trying over and over and many more over again. Heck, you knew so well you advised bleeding hearts with crashing dreams not to give up. Now there’s no brilliant rhetoric you can’t finish with regal elegance. You did everything, checked all the boxes, but every door you thought you’d waltz right through got slammed in your face.
But since you dreamed like I know you dreamed, fantasized so much about success till it felt so tangible, believed so hard that you got scarily loquacious when you got talking about that passion, you found that giving up is a zillion times more difficult that starting. You felt this void in your soul, this constant tugging of the most fragile veins of your heart, an inexplicable reason to stop laughing even when the joke hits its climax. You said you couldn’t explain it but we both knew it was your dreams that you kept awake only when you were breathing that had come as a nightmare to haunt you back in a like manner.
So, you yielded the urge and began all over. You walked old roads with new ways and new roads with old experience. At that point you felt this was it, another door got slammed with a louder bang. If you had fallen back to where you were you began, it would have been fair but that fall took you to a depth you’ve never been.
Now, you are fully spent and I understand when you say you want to give up. But before you say you’ve done everything humanly possible to succeed, there is one last thing you should do – do nothing. Stop thinking about that dream because you are in truth actually worrying. Stop planning, stop everything. You have placed so much weight on your shoulders and now chase after that sweet dream in fear of failure rather than the joy of expected success. So stop.
Stop living for your dream and start living for you. Take yourself away from the gloom of failure and see the other beauties of life and find bliss in them. Somewhere in that calm, that peace of mind, you’ll find yourself in God and that is the beginning of the best success stories. Then you will know you are ready to start all over again like nothing has yet been done. You still might fail many times again, but you’ll fail better and success will find you in the end. But for now, take a selfish break and don’t put a clock on it. You will know when you are ready.
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